creative director/marketing coordinator: Milton Rand Kalman | production: Amanda Celo, Fred Demara, Missy, Duncan D'Nuts, Sandwich, Rico T. Spoons, Ma'am, Lewis Cypher, Amanda Have

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photos: Aurora Celo

The Billboard Liberation Front Joins Trial Lawyers in the American Dream

"First thing we do, let's hire all the lawyers."

While some may argue that the American Dream is "Mom, baseball, and apple pie", Real Americans know that it's about something more than that; it's about getting paid millions of dollars after losing your eye to a defective rectal thermometer, and eating delicious flourless cakes.

Today the BLF took an important stand against Corporate America and the Anti-Torte Lobby by defending the public's right to trade their appendages for large cash settlements while eating tasty baked sweets.

It is certainly true that it is every American Corporation's God-given right to skimp on safety or save on costs by dumping their toxic sludge in the neighborhood swimming hole, this should never be allowed to stand in the way of our common hope of winning the lottery by being maimed by an electric foot massager. Without such dreams, what do Real Americans have to strive for? And what will happen to our economy when consumers are stripped of their prime motivation to buy home leg-waxing kits or buy property near nuclear power plants?

And what can possibly be accomplished by restricting our access to exquisitely dense chocolate decadence?

Finally, how can we turn our backs on the tiny percentage of attorneys who daily sacrifice themselves in the brave and noble pursuit of the deep pocket? Do we really want to live in a nation where ambulances go unchased?

Visit the BLF's improvements at TWO separate locations: 15th St @ Mission and Noe St @18th.

The new BLF - working twice as hard to improve your perceptions on advertising.

-Fred Demara

MEDIA COVERAGE