client: RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company
improvement: Brassiere
date: October 7, 1978
Date: Tuesday, December 23rd, 1998
From: Jack Napier
To: Seth Maxwell Malice, Filth Magazine
Subject: Billboard Liberation Front
We were putting a pink laced bra on “The Turk”. The Turk came long before Joe Camel, at least the Joe we all know now; the pool shootin’, sax blowin’, shade wearin’ associate of and rival in influence to: Mickey, Barney, the Muppets and their ilk. The Turk was very 70’s: macho, bare chested, steely gaze; a veritable disco inferno. And he sold a lot of smokes for RJR long before they secured the services of a cartoon.
This improvement was the idea of our old PR guy Simon Wagstaff. There was a Camel board across from his flat & he had to stare at the Turk each day over his morning coffee. He felt we needed to point out the fact that most of us fellas that smoked weren’t quite so macho. We might cough when we smoked. Also, visiting dignitaries might be offended, particularly Moslem or Catholic clerics. Simon was a sensitive guy, especially in regard to international relations. Something needed to be done. The BLF mobilized.
As with all of our meticulously plotted and surgically executed operations we intended to cover the entire outdoor advertising landscape with our “new”, “improved” Ad image. We suceeded in installing three bras (designed by the inspirational Irving Glikk, co-founder and spiritual inspiration to the hordes of BLF operatives) at three diferent locations. At the third location, Simon kicked the bucket. The bucket of RUBBER CEMENT. It happened while we were diving onto the plank just below the recently bra’d Turk. We were hiding from the SFPD cruiser that had pulled into the parking lot & parked almost directly beneath us. The officer sat there, 20 feet below us doing his paperwork while a light breeze steadily pushed the acrid odor of dripping rubber cement away from his open window. We held position for over an hour not moving a muscle. Later we tracked rubber cement into a local drinking establishment.
Jack Napier
Billboard Liberation Front
Spokesman/co-founder