client: Apple
improvement: Think Disillusioned
date: April 28, 1989
Subject: The Billboard Liberation Front takes a bite out of Apple
Date: April, 28 1998 22:43:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Conrad Hoc
FOR IMMEDIATE ELECTRONIC RELEASE
(April 28, 1998 — San Francisco) The Billboard Liberation Front today announced the international kickoff of a new improvement campaign designed to enhance the outdoor communications of beleaguered Apple Computer Corporation. The campaign was ushered in late last night on an Apple billboard south of the city, on Northbound Highway 101 between the Holly and Ralston Avenue exits.
The struggling Cupertino-based computer manufacturer recently bounced back to record quarterly profits, thanks in large part to its high-profile “Think Different” campaign, featuring inspirational dead people and a few lucky live ones like the Dalai Lama, Tibet’s beloved spiritual leader in exile.
We applaud Apple’s bold exploitation of these heroes, living and dead, and celebrate its decision to pay an honorarium to the Lama’s Trust, a non-profit foundation dedicated to buying back Tibetan real estate from the Chinese government, one parcel at a time. Thanks in large part to the personal intervention of Apple acting-CEO Steve Jobs, along with Beastie Boy Adam Yauch and actor-activist Richard Gere, the Lama’s trust is on the verge of closing its first transaction, securing limited title to 3 prime hectares of high-altitude mining waste.
Gere and Yauch, “chilling” at the billboard unveiling after-party, confirmed that their faces will soon appear in a new series of Apple ads alongside the visage of their “spiritual homey,” the Dalai Lama. Recent certification of their status as authentic reincarnated High Lamas of Tibetan Buddism (along with Revered Holy Vessel Steven Seagal) has set off a frenzy of high-stakes celebrity donations to the Tibetan cause.
Jobs, tracked down at his heliport near Richmond, declined to take credit for the land-for-cash deal, citing a non-disclosure agreement with Disney and ongoing negotiations between Pixar and Beijing, but he was quick to claim ownership of the Think Different tag. “If you think Apple’s going to pay Chiatt-Day for that half-assed Gap-khakis-ripoff-crap, I’m giving you two Gils on the dumb meter. You want something done right, do it yourself.”
The BLF has long adhered to this same self-reliant philosophy, and has executed these unpaid improvements as a unilateral gesture of its bilateral support for Apple and the Dalai Lama. Only through eternal vigilance and the close cooperation of Hollywood, Silicon Valley and Madison Avenue can we ever hope to throw off the yoke of tyranny. Free Tibet! Discounted Tibet! Apple close-out sale!
Founded by a cabal of eccentric advertising professionals, the Billboard Liberation Front has pursued its mission of improving outdoor advertising worldwide since 1977. Major campaigns have augmented the promotions of Exxon, R.J. Reynolds, Zenith, Plymouth, and other Fortune 500 firms.