client: The New Economy
improvement: Abort, Retry, Fail
date: November 19, 2000
Subject: The Billboard Liberation Front “dot-comments” on the New Economy
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 00:20:21 -0800 (PST)
From: Conrad Hoc
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONFIDENTIAL –– DESTROY BEFORE READING
November 20, 2000 – San Francisco, USA – The Billboard Liberation Front (SYM:BLF) announced a major advertising improvement offensive today, taking responsibility for the heroic modification of thirteen large-format billboards in Silicon Valley along the northbound US-101 freeway corridor between the Whipple exit in Redwood City and San Carlos exit.
The pro-bono clients in this campaign were all technology companies, with a sector focus on the endangered and much maligned “dot-coms”. Billboards in the target sector were graphically enhanced by the addition of large-format warning labels, in the style of a standard computer error message, bearing the bold copy: “FATAL ERROR – Invalid Stock Value – Abort/Retry/Fail”.
The BLF justified its actions under the emerging doctrine of Prophylactic Disclosure, citing recent examples of other industries that, through failure to self-regulate, eventually lost all access to the outdoor medium. “We love e-commerce”, explained BLF Operations Officer Jack Napier, “and we really love outdoor advertising. We’d hate to see the New Economy go the way of Big Tobacco by failing to make a few simple disclosures”. Citing the recent demise of e-tailer Pets.com, Napier pointed out the inherent dangers of marketing securities to children. “First Joe Camel, now the sock puppet – we’re clearly on a slippery slope here”.
“The Internet bubble will not be allowed to burst on our watch”, agreed BLF Information Officer Blank DeCoverly. “It’s a very robust bubble, albeit temporarily low on gas. The fact is, these companies are drastically undervalued, and the investing public needs to be made aware of that. Would a dying industry increase its spending on outdoor advertising by over 670 percent in a single year? The naysayers are clearly falling prey to irrational under-enthusiasm.”
Participating companies in the campaign included Internet pure-plays like E*Trade, Women.com, and Support.com, as well as “shovel-selling” high-tech stalwarts like Oracle and Lucent. The Pets.com sock puppet was not available for comment.
Founded by a shadowy cabal of understimulated advertising workers, the Billboard Liberation Front has been at the forefront of advertising improvement since 1977, adding its own unique enhancements to campaigns for clients including Zenith, Apple, Max Factor, Phillip Morris, and Chrysler.
For more information, please visit http://www.billboardliberation.com.